Hauled to court

Just got a call from the jungle's court magistrate where i used to work last time to attend a court proceeding, so called "subpoena" . Was told that it is regarding an assault case which happened while i was working there. I guess probably to testify in the court or something. I had never ever step inside a court all my life so far. The jungle is in faraway land somemore...feel so lazy to go. I fear the attorneys might try to grill my balls or something lor..haiz. Or am I thinking too much? You know, seeing how the MACC lawyer performed in the famous Teoh Beng Hock case....What if the lawyer accuse me of lying and postulate the possibility of "the victim strangulated himself"?

May I choose to not attend? -..-

Ah Soh's story-finale

Another sickly day. While I was coughing and balut-ing wantan in the room, suddenly someone open the door. Pung! There she is, appearing out of nowhere ali-baba style. It was just her and me, face to face. I immediately call in the next client, in case she try anything funny.

A middle-aged uncle came in. But she is still not budging. Damn..this technique doesnt seem to work anymore.

GET OUT!!!! I yelled. Poor uncle was shocked by my sudden scream. My bad. Didn't mean to induce heart attack on him..

”用不用這麼兇啊？” I heard her mumbling on her way out.

After 解決the uncle, its time to 解決 her once and for all! I gave a tinkle to the corporal officer. Efficient enough, the kancil police car came within few minutes. I greeted the corporal.

"Is that her?"

"Yup. The one in flowery dress sitting on the front row."

A policewoman approach her.

"Saya lapar..boleh belanja saya makan ah?" the psycho lady asked.

"Ya tentu boleh. Mari ikut saya, kita pergi makan!" the uniformed lady replied.

And so she was escorted out the lobby under the watchful eyes of a full audience. Even I felt paiseh cos the crowd was looking at me when I was talking to the corporal. I swear i even saw a few ladies laughed while trying to cover their mouth, though it was a pathetic effort since their mouth were just too big.

Apparently she tried to flee after stepped out of the entrance. But luckily the uniform team was able to capture her. Such drama. Such cunning psycho lady.

At noon i got a call from hospital bahagia. YES! She is finally safe and sound at her new playground...Adieu! May our path never crosses again in the future!

THE END

Psycho and Fearless

Been sickly all day, but nothing beats the end of this historic day. There "she" is, sneaking into my room when the frontliner staffs were away. Sat across me, she point to her earthy-coloured feet impregnated with skin lesion. I kindly asked her to wait outside for her turn. Luckily the counter people was competent enough to refer her to the other room.

She came out of the consultation room. Still seated at the lobby. By this time everyone also know what she is up to. 4pm....5pm.....Her inertia was too great. Even if Hurricane Katrina were to blow away the whole workplace, her feets would still be firmly planted on the lobby floor. Like a snake preying on an earth rat, her eyes were staring intently for any signs of ME.

As my colleagues came to my room and left the door jar opened, talking about her, I heard something.

"Ah Soh, sudah pukul 5, office mau tutup. T sudah balik. U balik lah!"

"Ooi....Lu panggil saya Ah Soh? Saya masih sangat muda lagi leh! T masih di dalam lagi. Saya nampak dia di dalam!"

Colleagues were gathered around in my room, discussing whether to call the police. I hesitated for a while. But there really doesn't seem to have other viable alternative. She just wouldn't listen, even after just being warned not to stalk barely an hour ago.

Then she walked out of the lobby. Too bad its not only towards the entrance, but all the way towards my car under the shady tree! There she is again. Merry go around my car like fly lingering around a caramel custard!

Our patience were wearing thin. We have no choice but make the call. Shortly after, a kancil police car came in through the gate. As if sensing danger, she slowly retreat to the exit. As my colleague and I went out to explain the dire situation we were in, she spotted me! She came back!! Even while we were talking to the policeman! She is just getting out of control, or just FEARLESS!

Somehow the policemen were hesitant to send her way on the spot, instead ask us to call them again tomorrow if she continue to act the same, and that they will send her away to the rightful place she belongs. Well fine...who are we to argue with the mighty Kancil? the police car then escort her to the exit and out...i think all of us were breaking cold sweat at that moment.

To be continued...

After posting the stories in my fb, it seems i had found some ardent followers as well. Perhaps I could be a freelance writer if I ever change my career path one day. Well, who knows... :)

No signing on my ass-crack though :P

Bad romance 爛桃花

The highlight of this year's CNY for me is none other than being harassed by a psycho lady at workplace on almost daily basis. In fact from my post on FB about she and her antics, I think i can almost write a script already!

(below are excerpts from FB post)

Jan 24


middle-aged psy lady who is sexily clad ask me to treat her lunch...of which i reply im fasting. Then shortly after ram into my room again asking for dinner treat...in and out my room multiple times...OMG!!! I wonder what is going thru her mind and I definitely dun need this type of 爛桃花 for CNY!!!




Jan 25


psy woman comes back again with a vengeance! Throw me a bag of chinese herbs for bou leong char??? Despite i refusing by saying i dun drink herbal drinks and even if i do, my wife will prepare for me, she still insist to pass the package to me!

Today wearing a thin cooling shirt with white lace and BRA-less!! Still waiting outside at lunch hour!! CIS!!!


(The wife part is a lie to drive her off...obviously it didnt work from what happened after that)




Jan 26


she's here again...62yo psy lady..."accidentally" threw away one of her document, asking to get another copy...dressed like a secretary today. Just when i thought she would behave herself abit, suddenly she says:

"I just bought your car plate number!"

"Thats not my car"

"It doesn't matter" (smiling sheepishly)

*pengsan!!*




Feb 1

"can u treat me ice-cream today?"

"sorry mam...im working" *sweat*

psy auntie gone out a while but the relief was short lived. She came back shortly, asking the same question again. Of which i try to dodge by immediately calling the next client in. Pheww!

*double sweat*

Cant help but notice her cyan green blouse and flowery pink skirt. I believe the 'putik putik papaya' which are so obvious on her cyan shirt would be eye candies for the uncles outside. But pluueasee don't pollute my eyes right before CNY lar...i need to cuci mata with daun limau oledi!!

*triple sweat*

Feb 16

Really gotta be impressed by the psy auntie tactics. Today barged into my room asking me to read a letter. Apparently her house tax or something. "ngo kuai chi meh..ask your neighbour lah!" Luckily not love letter! Then hand in a 100 USD note asking for change! "halo auntie ngo hou kong geh..mou chin geh..! Please go to the bank to exchange your money"

Too bad she seem unable to understand plain cantonese and keep asking to change for her! And the best part is she do all these while leaving the shirt buttons on her breast valley open! Damn gerli!! Sei bin tai poh!! Hooi sei Lah!!

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

She is really becoming a nuisance nowadays, and always seems to target me! Cis!! But the bad thing is she is still considered harmless for us to have solid reason to send her off to Hospital Bahagia! Really dunno what to do with her already...haih!

Prosperity 2011

Happy Chinese New Year everyone! Gong Xi Fatt Cai! How has your CNY celebration been? The impulsive gobbling of fatty food? The incessant grilling on topic of relationship by your lovely relatives? Abundance of cash-rich ang-pao? Reunion and gathering among friends and relatives?

I started the new year with bouts of persistent cough, flu and sorethroat, still not fully recovered even now. Yet here i am, munching on bak-kua 3am in the morning, jostled up from sleep by feeling of hunger! Hopeless, i know. As if the starting of the year with sickness isn't bad enough, i was harassed at workplace the week right before my CNY leave, just call it Bad-Romance 爛桃花! The story of Bad Romance is already onto its chapter 4 in my facebook! I hope there would not be any more continuation of this mess!

This year's CNY been a little different from the lasts, for me. First of all, my household usher in the new year with the arrival of new pets! They are a few fishes, tortoises and a nasty little puppy who always like to pee on the floor of my room. Ish! Ironically no rabbits. Then, this year so far there has not been any dreaded relative visits, so far! Ahh...no more answering the same questions year after year after year! Such a relief! 

Today I actually attended a ex-classmates reunion. The special thing about it is that, its a Standard 6 ex-classmate gatherings and I being so low profile, havent been to any such gathering for the longest time i could remember. Some of the familiar faces I actually havent seen them in like .... 16 years? Yet everybody seem to have stay pretty much the same, except one or two who gained some weight :P

Prior to the event i was quite hesitant to go since already lost touch with them for aeons but in the end i guess it was not as bad as i thought. 

Hopefully I could get a sound sleep now after the fatty midnight meal. Its the 4th day of CNY today, but how come I feel like its coming to an end already? The mere thought of going back to work is killing me!

Have a prosperous and bountiful Chinese New Year :)

Memoirs of 2010

I realized the blog has been deserted for quite some time. Combination of being busy with work and weekend getaways and plain laziness...what to do? And not to mention the lack of inspiration from recent bouts of mood swing. But im getting better now, no worry.

Hmm... so fast it has came to the end of year 2010! I remembered I actually had written a memoir of 2009, 1 year prior to today. So I guess its good idea to do a review for this year in similar fashion. Sometimes only when you glance back at your past, do u realize how far you have come, and from here chart the next goal in life, right?

The major milestone this year is non other than having found my very own place. I like the contemporary house design, the location which is near to city center, the excellent accessibility and of course, the affordable price. Granted its not located in the Greater KL at all, where house prices skyrocketing like no tomorrow, well at least I have a roof above my head now :)

In terms of work, I actually migrated twice this year! From the far away land to stud-land to hometown now. I miss the tantalizing fried rice and wanton mee in far away land, miss the springy lou-shu-fan and claypot chicken rice in stud-land! So far I havent found better alternatives here lor...Otherwise job scope has been pretty much redundant and its like sucking my life force little by little everyday. On the other hand I have been in this line for too long that it would take massive willpower and a fat bank account to even consider switching to another career...not to mention wasting all the time, effort and money sacrificed. The more I think about it the more depressed I get, hence the mood swings...

Some people say im money-minded. I don't mind to be labelled as such LOL. Its just that people crave for what they do not have, right? :P  But of course im not the type who would do anything for money either. This year's finance didn't grow much but its ok. Started researching and investing in shares. What about gold rush? Gold prices been steadily climbing up these few years. People are afraid of potential financial apocalypse brought about by fiat money, seeing how the western governments printing money out of thin air, the massive bailouts, the things happening in Greece and Ireland etc. Hence, they park their money in gold. Erm..still learning so didn't participate in it yet. I think gold is not as foolproof as it was claimed to be. Avoided mutual funds like plaque since got burnt in it previously. Also, bought personal insurance lately. In order to keep the premiums low and more coverage, insurance companies are promoting packages where the amount insured is getting abit ridiculous, i think. Imagine you pay thousands every year but when you died, your life is only worth the measly RM 80K? To think that your life is worth less than the midget Toyota Vios...sad isn't it?

How do your friends perceive you? I had someone commented that I am not versatile enough. Before you mind drifts further, I like to reiterate that what he meant was that I am not flexible enough in thinking. Open up your mind and you might see things in different perspective. I am tying myself up in various ways according to him. Well, I guess he has his reason for saying so and I should take it as a constructive criticism. I always teased him in return as in "I know you are definitely 'versatile' enough..." Bad me...LOL. Some say im sarcastic. But I think im not in real life lor. Haha..

Lazy to write more...so how has your 2010 been? I would like to hear your stories too!

HAPPY NEW YEAR 2011! :)